May 11, 2026

Liz Ortenburger Interview - Part 1

Liz Ortenburger Interview - Part 1
Listen to "Liz Ortenburger Interview - Part 1" on Spreaker.
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This week, we're bringing you a special interview with Liz Ortenburger, CEO of Safenest, the largest DV agency in the state of Nevada, serving at-risk people since 1977. We're fortunate to have the opportunity to speak with someone like Liz, who is on the front lines of the fight against domestic violence here in Las Vegas, the most lethal city, in the most lethal county, in the most lethal state in the country.

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To listen ad free, visit sinspod dot com slash subscribe

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Over the past few years, we've shared dozens of stories

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of victims of domestic violence. We've discussed the challenges survivors

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face and the many times that the justice system has

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failed to protect families. And we're always asking the question

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what more can be done to prevent this? And we're

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concerned about what the experience is really like for victims

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when they ask for help.

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This week, we have a very special episode for the

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very first time on Sins and Survivors. We are bringing

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you an interview with one of the experts working on

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the front lines of the domestic violence crisis here in

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Las Vegas.

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Hi, and welcome to Sins and Survivors, a Las Vegas

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true crime podcast where we cover stories of domestic violence,

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missing persons, and unsolved cases. I'm your host Sean.

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And I'm your co host John.

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If this is your first.

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Time listening to the podcast, welcome, We're happy to have

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you here. We started the podcast in October of twenty

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twenty three, during Domestic Violence Awareness Month, to really bring

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attention to the forty plus domestic violence homicides that happen

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in Las Vegas each year, and to address some of

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the myths and realities of domestic violence, such as issues

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around stocking, orders of protection, victim blaming, and most importantly,

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to provide resources to folks who need them. We are

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very focused on getting families answers. While we often cover

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domestic violence, we also cover missing persons from the Las

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Vegas area and unsolved homicide cases. About ten percent of

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the cases we cover are from outside of the Las

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Vegas area, and most of the time when that happens,

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it because a family has approached us and asked us

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to cover their story. So over the past three years,

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we've produced nearly one hundred and fifty episodes. Include covering

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the murder of five year old Mason Domingas. His stepdad,

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Brandon Toseland, was arrested for that crime and we're all

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waiting for the trial to start next year. Many people

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may be familiar with that case because Toesland was arrested

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after Mason's mom had her young daughter sneak a note

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in her shoe to school to give to her teacher

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because the family was essentially being held captive in their home.

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We also did a four part series on Thomas Randolph,

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who is a convicted murderer. He's known as the Black Widower.

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He's been married six times and four of his wives

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are dead. And we also have our very popular multi

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part series on the mysteries of Lake Mead, missing persons,

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unidentified remains, and unsolved homicides. And this summer we're going

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to bring you even more stories from Lake Mead, so

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you don't want to miss that. At Sins and Survivors,

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we strive to bring you ethical true crime stories with

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the larger purpose of raising awareness and helping families. Please

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like and subscribe to the show so you never miss

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an episode. If you visit Sins post co slash subscribe

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for just one dollar a month, you can get all

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of our weekly episodes ad free, and for three dollars

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a month you get all that plus our additional weekly

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bonus episodes where John and I go behind the scenes

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to discuss what went into making the episode.

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This week, though, was a little bit different. We recorded

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the entire episode on video, which will be available on

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YouTube and Patreon for all of our listeners to enjoy.

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If you're listening on Apple Podcasts or Spotify or some

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other platform and you're only hearing the audio, you can

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go to find us on YouTube and watch the video

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at sincepod dot com, slash YouTube. And today, as we said,

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Liz Ordenberger is here to answer our questions and questions

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from our subscribers.

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We're going to welcome Liz to the podcast in just

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a minute, but first I want to share that I've

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known Liz for at least eight years and we've worked

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together in different capacities throughout that time. And John, you

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know Liz as well from fundraisers and different events.

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Liz is an amazing person and you know so much

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about everything to do with the mestic violence. We were

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really lucky to have her on the show to have

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her answer our questions.

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Before we welcome her on, let me share her bio.

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Liz Ortenberger is the CEO of Safe Nest, which is

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Nevada's largest and most comprehensive nonprofit addressing domestic and sexual violence,

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and she's a thought leader redefining how communities prevent and

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respond to abuse for more than two decades, she has

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championed the safety of women and children, bringing bold vision

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to a field often shaped by reactive solutions. At Safenest,

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Liz leads a multi million dollar organization delivering an integrated

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continuum of care including emergency response, prevention, education, housing, legal advocacy,

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offender intervention, all designed to disrupt cycles of violence at

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their roots. Under her leadership, Safenest has expanded beyond traditional

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service delivery to address the broader epidemic through strategic partnerships

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with law enforcement, policymakers, healthcare systems, and leaders. Known for

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challenging conventional narratives, Liz advocates for a shift from punishment

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to prevention, from survivor only approaches to a system wide accountability,

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and from silence to truth telling. She is a PhD

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candidate in Public policy and Administration at Walden University and

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she holds an MBA from ie S School in Barcelona.

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All right, let's bring Liz on.

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Hey everyone, we're here with Liz. Welcome Liz, thanks for

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being here, Thank you for having me. We got some

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good feedback from some of our listeners. They're really excited

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that we were going to have you on, and I

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was just thinking, our audience is all over the country,

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all over the world. So I was thinking, to start out,

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can you just walk us through what domestic violence looks

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like in Nevada right now and where the agency you

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work for, Safe Nest fits into that picture.

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Yeah.

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Absolutely, So Nevada has historically been one of the highest

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per capita states in the country for domestic violence homicides,

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but recently the new FBI sort of leer cat data

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which we're able to dig into, also exposed that Nevada

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is the highest per capita of rates of violence perpetrated

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by an intimate partner, close friend, or family member in

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all crime categories. That includes like arson, property damage, of course, homicide.

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We already talked about physical abuse. So Nevada has an

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incredibly high rate of domestic violence happening, and then we

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have a corollary high rate of domestic violence homicides. So

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this is an incredibly lethal place to do this work.

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And anybody that knows geography of Nevada knows we're famous

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for Las Vegas, which is where eighty percent of our

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population kind of lives in Clark County, and so by

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the fact that Nevada is so lethal, Clark County is

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actually the most lethal county in the country, and the

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city of Las Vegas is the most lethal city in

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the country for domestic violence homicides.

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One of the questions we often get is really about

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the survivor and the survivor's experience. So could you talk

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a little bit about when someone reaches out to the

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DV hotline, what are they typically dealing with in that moment?

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Yeah, so, interestingly enough, we sort of dig into our

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hotline data a couple of years ago, and I think that,

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you know, for the person who doesn't live and work

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in this world constantly, the thought would be, oh, somebody

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calls the hotline once, gets the resources they need and

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then they go about their business. But actually, our average

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calls to the hotline by one client are about thirty

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We have some clients that call us over one hundred times,

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some clients that call us three, four or five times,

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but our average participant is calling us at least thirty

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times within a twelve month window. And so what are

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they dealing with? So first usually kind of looks like, hey,

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is this domestic violence right, Like, is what I'm experiencing

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as bad as I think it is? Or I'm trying

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to minimize. They're just trying to stabilize and understand what

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the relationship is that they're in. They may also be

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calling on a technical issue, maybe in arrest was made

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at their home, and they're trying to understand what the

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process is. So they're entering the window. At that point.

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What our advocates do, which is phenomenal, as they start

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to walk them through, let's do a safety plan, let's

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talk about what other resources, and they're planting all of

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these seeds of things you might need along your journey

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to exit domestic violence or whatever your journey looks like.

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And so that's what happens is we're really just start

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at the beginning with that survivor wherever they're at, and

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then we walk through what's next. And then oftentimes, like

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I said, they're calling back, they're getting more resources, they're

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trying to get more understanding, trying to understand what their

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rights are and find safety.

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I'm going to ask you next the question that you

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and I have talked about many times, but it's about

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leaving because everyone always asks why don't they just leave?

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So can you talk a little bit about what people

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are missing when they ask that question?

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Well, first of all, it's the wrong question, right. I

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think the right question will be why does that abusive

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partner think it's okay to abuse? Right? Like, where did

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we get the idea that abusing women in particular, but

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men are also abused, that abusing people in our lives

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is okay? So I would frame it that way. I

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think also, you know, because we live and breathe this work,

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we understand what society does is say, okay, you're a

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survivor of domestic violence. Why don't you leave? Why don't

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you get a temporary protection order? Why don't you find

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a job, Why don't you get the kids into their

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own house, Why don't you get stable? Why don't you

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start dating new people? Why don't you?

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Why don't you?

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Why don't you? And there's about ten thousand why don't you?

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To a survivor, we need to ask one question in

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domestic violence, and that's of the abusive partner, and why

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don't you stop abusing? That needs to be the question,

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what do we need to do to get you to

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stop abusing? Because then, guess what domestic violence stops? And

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that's really what the movement at LEAs large, I think

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has really missed fromighteen seventies on forward, and then we've

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passed all these crime bills, in particular the Omnibus Crime

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Bell of the nineteen nineties. It has really said domestic

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violence work is about the survivor and the abusive partner.

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Work is left to the criminal legal system, and that

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has not fared well, particularly for our survivors who are marginalized,

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low income, which is sort of the majority of the

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space that we work in. So yeah, so the question

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of why doesn't she just leave is really easily answered

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in this way. Women are most often murdered when they

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are getting ready to leave or in the three to

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twelve months after they have left. And our nineteenth homicide

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happened two nights ago. That was a mom trying to

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leave with her kids and she was murdered by her

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abuser and husband. Right, So, what people don't understand, in

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a great metaphor that I heard from one of my

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mentors in this space, is you know, if you're in

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a box with a fire breathing dragon, what do you

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do to survive? You make friends with the dragon. And

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that is the space a lot of our survivors have

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to live in because they don't either have the resources

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or the pathways out of that violence, or they're so

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afraid that if they leave, it is going to mean

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not only potentially their murder, but maybe the murder of

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their kids, the murder of a beloved family pet, or

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the murder of other people in their lives.

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On the podcast, we often remind people listeners, and you

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just mentioned that leaving is the most dangerous time, and

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that's the point when the risk of violence is the highest.

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So one of the questions we get is what changes

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in that moment? What makes the risk higher in that moment.

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Yeah, So when we think about abusive partners that are

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likely to murder, we have to kind of categorize abusive

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partners in different ways. But when we think about the

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category of abusive partners who are likely of committing murder,

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we are looking at extreme narcissism. Right. These are folks

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for whom they believe they have an entitled to a

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life different than the one they're living, Typically that they

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have an entitlement to be taken care of by their

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spouse or girlfriend or whatever. The dynamic is that they

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feel very much that the world needs to cater to them. Well,

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when I'm getting ready to leave or have left. I

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have said to you, Hey, this world is not about

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you and you alone, and you've lost now that power

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to control me. Well, what's the best way to get

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that power back? It's to kill you. And we have

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horrific stories of things that have happened and how these

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murders have happened, and when kids are involved, when it's

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a murder suicide, there are a lot of different dynamics

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to how that end of life piece can happen, But

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it is fundamentally about me as the abuser, the narcissist,

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and the controller in that relationship, ultimately taking all that

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control back. And whether or not that includes my life

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in a murder suicide being taken as well, I don't care,

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because that is the narcissistic sort of tendency of an

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abusive partner who will murder about.

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Mass murders and family annihilations have been in the news

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in the past couple weeks, and that's something that John

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and I have been talking about as well. Why can

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you talk a little bit about why domestic violence is

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a common factor in mass shootings?

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I guess I'll ask you.

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Yeah, great question. So part of it is the definition

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of a mass shooting is four or more people killed

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with a obviously with a firearm. When we think about

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what I just explained in terms of narcissism and an

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abusive partner, if I'm going in to kill you, I

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don't care who's around you, if that's family members, if

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that's friends, if that's a new boyfriend, whatever that dynamic

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looks like. So oftentimes in these domestic violence situations, bystanders

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are killed alongside, which elevates it to a level of

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mass shooting. But an additional argument in that space is

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when we think about the rage inside someone that would

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murder the person that they are supposed to be partnered

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with and love with or somehow connected to, whether it

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be through children or whatever. When we think about the

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rage of that person to murder that person in all

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the narcissism, that ability to carry out a larger mass

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shooting is also there, right. And so when we look

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at some of the homegrown mass shooters, like the Orlando

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nightclub shooting is one I talk about quite a bit.

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He had domestic violence all over his record. In fact,

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Bill Maher did a phenomenal sort of special on gun violence,

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and the biggest red flag is domestic violence. The problem

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is we still don't have a mature court system that's

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taking domestic violence as seriously as the outcomes are for

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mass shootings, cop killing and certainly domestic violence homicide. So yeah,

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that's the correlation. It's twofold, right. It's that if I

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have a gun and I'm narcissistic and I'm going to

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murder you, I'm going to murder whoever's around you, and

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that rage factor that I'm happy to take out, you

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know how, I for many people that looks like they've

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never proven it, specifically here in Las Vegas, but when

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you look at the dynamics of the shooter, the October

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one shooter, it is likely he was abusive and abused

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quite frankly as well, but it's likely that he was

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abusive to his partner.

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So to me, that brings up the next question I have,

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which is about warning signs. So what are the warning

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signs you see where you think this situation could turn deadly?

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What are the examples we often give but it's so

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obvious is strangulation, because there's so much correlation with that,

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as Sean has taught me. But are there other more

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like insidious, subtle cues and warning signs that you see.

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Besides like the incredibly obvious ones like strangulation, what other

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warning signs are there?

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So recently we've started trying to put together some better

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educational protocols for young women and young men in particular

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who are starting to enter those dating relationships about what

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could some early warning signs be. Because strangulation, yes, if

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we're there, we got to get you out. This is

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an escalation to homicide. The other big one is always

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a gun in the home. But if we start to

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look at the more subtle, like the gas lighting. So

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oftentimes even just saying to a young person, pick a

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topic that you both disagree on, and is your voice

303
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heard right or do they railroad you and gaslight you, you know,

304
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until you give up because you're so tired of having

305
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this argument. Gas Lighting is a big one. Being able

306
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to argue in a way that it doesn't become you know,

307
00:16:34.919 --> 00:16:36.480
it is very different. Sean and I were to get

308
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into an argument about some topic, We're going to have

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a professional dialogue. We're going to hear each other, We're

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going to listen. We're gonna sort of say, well, I

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agree to disagree. But if that person isn't even allowing

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that space to happen where you can have an argument

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without you then degrading the other person, trying to tear

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them down, really picking at them. These are some of

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the early warning signs, like what is that communication look like?

316
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And then you know it can escalate from there. In

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terms of like no one's abusive on day one. Love

318
00:17:06.279 --> 00:17:09.880
bombing is a huge one. Like I love romance novels,

319
00:17:09.920 --> 00:17:12.079
but I'm astute enough now every time I read one,

320
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I'm like, oh my god, this is the start of

321
00:17:14.240 --> 00:17:17.599
a very bad relationship because all you see is this

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insane love bombing and this like just massive emotional roller

323
00:17:23.200 --> 00:17:26.319
coaster of all this stuff, that kind of stuff. It's

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00:17:26.400 --> 00:17:29.920
so exciting, especially when you're young and all the dopamine

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in your brain and all this stuff is happening. Starting

326
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to just add in, though, can we have a civil

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conversation about it and something we disagree on? And if

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the answer there is no, be ready to walk away,

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because I think a lot of times we start to

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think as young women, and certainly I mean I'm in

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my fifties, I probably would still make the same mistake

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as oh, I can help him, he's abusive. Because he

333
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was abused as a child. They're trying to use the

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excuse for their bad behavior based on their childhood. The

335
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fact of the matter is is everybody needs to understand

336
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abuse is a choice. Yes, i may have had an

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abhorrent childhood, but I'm an adult now an abuse and

338
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if i choose to abuse, whether that's physical, emotional, it's

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a choice. And so yes, he can choose or she

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can choose not to do that. And emotional abuse, I

341
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think is much more gender neutral than physical abuse. Physical

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00:18:22.480 --> 00:18:25.079
abuse generally we kind of see it in a way

343
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that it's female victims and male abusers. That's about eighty

344
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five fifteen. But emotional abuse for young men out there

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is the same. Like can you have an argument? Can

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you have a heated argument without that person tearing you down?

347
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People take arguments well outside the boundaries of the argument.

348
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We're having a conversation about this, and all of a sudden,

349
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you're talking about something horrible about my physique. Right, those

350
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who are really the way we argue is such a

351
00:18:51.920 --> 00:18:56.640
blueprint for how we respect and treat each other. That

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would be my biggest early warning sign for folks that

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are in relationships.

354
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I think that's really important to remember. And definitely something

355
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like we always talk about talking to people when they're young,

356
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before they even have their first relationship, you know what

357
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to look for and how to model what a healthy

358
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relationship looks like.

359
00:19:15.799 --> 00:19:16.079
Yeah.

360
00:19:16.160 --> 00:19:18.559
Yeah, And for parents, I often say, like, watch The

361
00:19:18.640 --> 00:19:21.839
Gilmore Girls, or watch and that's if my daughter and

362
00:19:21.839 --> 00:19:24.720
I watch that, but with your son watch Stranger Things.

363
00:19:24.839 --> 00:19:29.519
Any of these shows all have dynamic, multifaceted relationships for

364
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which there are parts that are healthy and parts that

365
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are unhealthy. And then just talk about it. It doesn't

366
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have to be this huge thing like how did you

367
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feel about the way he spoke to her? You know,

368
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what are your thoughts on that? You know? Do you?

369
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You know, those are really kind of important. Just conversations

370
00:19:45.359 --> 00:19:47.400
to have with your kiddos or if you're if you're

371
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like a youth, you know, girl Scout troop leader, Boys

372
00:19:50.160 --> 00:19:53.720
and Girls club employee, someone like that, having conversations with

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the way people treat each other. We're so reactionary to like,

374
00:19:57.319 --> 00:20:00.640
we don't like bullies, right, Let's understand why a bully

375
00:20:00.720 --> 00:20:04.240
is bullying. Let's everybody back up. Let's have a conversation

376
00:20:04.599 --> 00:20:09.319
and understand behavior more than just reacting to the maybe

377
00:20:09.359 --> 00:20:12.200
negative outcome of behavior. I think we can get to

378
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a better place. And young people really need to see

379
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what positive relationships look like. They're so devoid of that,

380
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you know, and YouTube is not providing it. Neither is

381
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any social media outlet. And while I just said, you know,

382
00:20:28.319 --> 00:20:32.079
watching these things, those are just conversation starters. Making sure

383
00:20:32.119 --> 00:20:35.160
your home life that parents, I think this is really hard.

384
00:20:35.440 --> 00:20:38.440
You know, there's an adverse childhood experience questionnaire that we

385
00:20:38.440 --> 00:20:40.680
can all take and reflect back on the time before

386
00:20:40.720 --> 00:20:43.799
we were eighteen. We know that kids with four more

387
00:20:43.880 --> 00:20:46.440
adverse childhood experiences and I think it's a ten point

388
00:20:46.480 --> 00:20:50.440
scale are likely to have trauma as an adult. Take

389
00:20:50.519 --> 00:20:53.400
that questionnaire for your kiddo. So if you're in a

390
00:20:53.480 --> 00:20:57.480
home that you're not particularly like, you're concerned about, understand

391
00:20:57.480 --> 00:21:00.880
the trauma that your kids are absorbed. That doesn't mean

392
00:21:01.119 --> 00:21:04.319
you pack bags and leave today, but it means your

393
00:21:04.400 --> 00:21:06.599
kids are absorbing some trauma that you need to figure

394
00:21:06.599 --> 00:21:08.400
out how to mitigate. And there are a lot of

395
00:21:08.440 --> 00:21:11.480
great resources, certainly in Clark County to do that can

396
00:21:11.519 --> 00:21:14.720
call safeness and will help you navigate that. But it's

397
00:21:14.720 --> 00:21:18.599
important to know that these things are generational and there

398
00:21:18.640 --> 00:21:20.119
is a way to break that cycle.

399
00:21:19.799 --> 00:21:23.480
Almost like you have to show them like like for

400
00:21:23.480 --> 00:21:26.000
for Sean and I, we would like show a display

401
00:21:26.039 --> 00:21:28.319
to our son like that we get along, like we

402
00:21:28.319 --> 00:21:31.119
get along most of the time, but when we don't

403
00:21:31.119 --> 00:21:34.559
get along, we have to model what good fighting is too, Yes,

404
00:21:35.039 --> 00:21:36.839
like if he can be there when we have a

405
00:21:36.880 --> 00:21:39.960
fight and it's respectfully done, I think that's almost as

406
00:21:40.000 --> 00:21:42.640
important as a day at Disneyland. You have to model

407
00:21:42.680 --> 00:21:45.559
what it's like when things get hard, and that's important.

408
00:21:45.759 --> 00:21:48.880
It's important for your kids to see you argue. That

409
00:21:49.039 --> 00:21:51.200
is you know, I think we try to bubble wrap

410
00:21:51.240 --> 00:21:53.160
our kids, right, And I always say, you know, we

411
00:21:53.240 --> 00:21:55.720
have a lot. We had a lot of drownings in

412
00:21:55.759 --> 00:21:58.480
Las Vegas, right, and so we've got all these city

413
00:21:58.559 --> 00:22:00.640
ordinances around. You got to put a fan, you gotta

414
00:22:00.640 --> 00:22:02.640
have locking doors, you gotta have sirens, you gotta have

415
00:22:02.680 --> 00:22:04.640
all these things. And guess what, kids were still drowning.

416
00:22:04.759 --> 00:22:10.119
And now the more contemporary view is teach your babies

417
00:22:10.200 --> 00:22:13.480
how to swim, teach your babies how to float, and

418
00:22:13.559 --> 00:22:16.319
your kids are going to grow up in a world

419
00:22:16.519 --> 00:22:19.079
with people that are good, people that are bad. People

420
00:22:19.119 --> 00:22:21.680
that are abusive, people that are complicated. If you can

421
00:22:21.759 --> 00:22:24.839
model at home how we treat each other even at

422
00:22:24.880 --> 00:22:27.519
times of stress, you know, even when we like I

423
00:22:27.559 --> 00:22:30.240
have certainly, I am a single mom. I've got two kiddos.

424
00:22:30.319 --> 00:22:32.519
I have certainly snapped in the car when I can't

425
00:22:32.519 --> 00:22:34.359
figure out where I'm going and one of them is

426
00:22:34.359 --> 00:22:36.880
asking me the most asinine question about what's for dinner

427
00:22:36.920 --> 00:22:40.319
next week, Like I don't know. It's okay to have

428
00:22:40.400 --> 00:22:42.920
those moments and then say, hey, I'm really sorry I

429
00:22:42.960 --> 00:22:47.480
snapped like that I was stressed, right, and apologize right.

430
00:22:47.599 --> 00:22:53.039
Apologizing showing, especially for men, showing some of that vulnerability

431
00:22:53.079 --> 00:22:56.599
is really important. We will just have a healthier set

432
00:22:56.599 --> 00:22:59.440
of kiddos if we can all, if we can all

433
00:22:59.480 --> 00:23:02.599
do some iteration of that, whatever works in your household.

434
00:23:02.799 --> 00:23:05.240
I always say that it's important to admit when you're wrong.

435
00:23:05.319 --> 00:23:07.079
I mean not for me, because I'm not wrong, but

436
00:23:07.440 --> 00:23:10.400
for people who I'm just kidding, But for people who

437
00:23:10.440 --> 00:23:13.359
are wrong, it's important to admit, like when you recognize

438
00:23:13.359 --> 00:23:14.960
you're wrong. I do that with Nate all the time.

439
00:23:15.279 --> 00:23:19.200
Like recently it was Sean's birthday, I was like, bring

440
00:23:19.200 --> 00:23:21.920
the present down and i'll wrap it. And I went

441
00:23:21.960 --> 00:23:24.240
in my office. I didn't see it, and I gave

442
00:23:24.319 --> 00:23:26.279
my hard time about it, and he was like, nope,

443
00:23:26.279 --> 00:23:29.200
it's there. I just didn't see it. And I immediately said,

444
00:23:29.240 --> 00:23:32.279
I'm really sorry. I definitely shouldn't have said that you

445
00:23:32.359 --> 00:23:35.279
were right. I apologize I was wrong. I think that

446
00:23:35.319 --> 00:23:37.279
goes a long way. Don't be afraid to be wrong.

447
00:23:37.599 --> 00:23:41.480
Yeah, absolutely, I mean this direction die even like even

448
00:23:41.519 --> 00:23:44.519
if you physically abuse your child. Let's say you hit

449
00:23:44.559 --> 00:23:47.440
your child out of anger, right, not saying anyone who's

450
00:23:47.440 --> 00:23:51.119
done that, but it happens. Right. The research around kids'

451
00:23:51.359 --> 00:23:54.200
brain growth and the trauma related to that. When a

452
00:23:54.319 --> 00:23:59.160
parent apologizes after and says I'm so sorry whatever, right,

453
00:23:59.480 --> 00:24:03.960
don't but they take responsibility. Even in situations of abuse,

454
00:24:04.319 --> 00:24:08.200
the kids recover very very differently than if it's ignored. Right.

455
00:24:08.319 --> 00:24:11.400
I come from a British family, so any emotion is ignored,

456
00:24:11.559 --> 00:24:13.559
Like that's how we grow up in British families, like, oh,

457
00:24:13.559 --> 00:24:15.599
we'll just ship you off to boarding school and everything

458
00:24:15.599 --> 00:24:18.599
will be fine. Right, But there's a lot of studies

459
00:24:18.599 --> 00:24:21.640
to show that repression is you know, and so kids

460
00:24:21.720 --> 00:24:24.200
learn that right, like, oh, something bad happened. We just

461
00:24:24.240 --> 00:24:28.400
don't talk about it. That, particularly for boys, is so

462
00:24:28.880 --> 00:24:33.839
girls vocalize very differently. Boys will stuff it down and

463
00:24:33.920 --> 00:24:37.200
those emotions come bubbling out at times that they might

464
00:24:37.240 --> 00:24:40.319
not have control of, particularly before the age of twenty

465
00:24:40.319 --> 00:24:43.160
five when their frontal lobe isn't fully functional yet. But

466
00:24:43.359 --> 00:24:46.200
even just showing that modeling now, like I'm so sorry

467
00:24:46.279 --> 00:24:50.000
that happened, and that was on me. I made a

468
00:24:50.039 --> 00:24:53.480
horrible mistake giving them a hug, telling them you love them.

469
00:24:53.759 --> 00:24:57.400
The outcome of that abusive incident is very very different

470
00:24:57.440 --> 00:25:00.599
for that child than hit you. You go to your room

471
00:25:00.759 --> 00:25:03.359
and we don't talk until tomorrow morning, right, and then

472
00:25:03.400 --> 00:25:06.960
it's never addressed because everybody's embarrassed that it happened. Yeah,

473
00:25:07.079 --> 00:25:10.160
that it's important for folks to understand.

474
00:25:10.359 --> 00:25:10.880
I love that.

475
00:25:10.960 --> 00:25:13.599
I'm glad that we got to talk about what we

476
00:25:13.640 --> 00:25:15.440
can do in our own lives and what we can

477
00:25:15.480 --> 00:25:21.319
do in our own families to help address the epidemic

478
00:25:21.400 --> 00:25:24.039
of domestic violence in some way and give our kids

479
00:25:24.079 --> 00:25:27.079
some kind of protection and skills when they get older.

480
00:25:27.720 --> 00:25:29.960
I want to pivot a little bit to talk more

481
00:25:29.960 --> 00:25:33.279
about the system. And we were talking a little bit

482
00:25:33.319 --> 00:25:36.759
about high risk offenders and how things can turn deadly.

483
00:25:37.119 --> 00:25:38.960
So I guess this is kind of like a multi

484
00:25:38.960 --> 00:25:41.880
part question. But where is the system breaking down? Are

485
00:25:41.880 --> 00:25:46.119
we not identifying and prioritizing those dangerous, dangerous offenders? Why

486
00:25:46.160 --> 00:25:49.200
aren't we intervening earlier in those kinds of cases?

487
00:25:49.559 --> 00:25:54.039
Yeah, good questions, you know my thoughts. So in Las

488
00:25:54.160 --> 00:25:57.599
Vegas we arrest thirty percent of the time a domestic

489
00:25:57.680 --> 00:26:01.359
violence nine when one call is made. That's fine. Those

490
00:26:01.400 --> 00:26:04.880
are the cases that have probable cause, right, So there's

491
00:26:05.279 --> 00:26:09.079
signs of violence in the scene, somebody's injured in some way.

492
00:26:09.400 --> 00:26:11.400
That's the number of times we're making an arrest. So

493
00:26:11.440 --> 00:26:15.000
the first place our system makes a mistake is not

494
00:26:15.119 --> 00:26:18.279
addressing the seventy percent with non arrest. There was enough

495
00:26:18.319 --> 00:26:20.519
that happened here that a nine to one one call

496
00:26:20.680 --> 00:26:23.759
was made that family, whether they want it or not,

497
00:26:24.440 --> 00:26:27.839
some resources need to be deployed there. So what that

498
00:26:27.880 --> 00:26:30.839
could be as little as leaving a postcard behind from

499
00:26:30.920 --> 00:26:35.319
Safeness or the like agency with resources and support, a

500
00:26:35.359 --> 00:26:38.519
little reminder that when there's an arrest made, it has

501
00:26:38.559 --> 00:26:42.599
a financial impact on a home. Let's help you before

502
00:26:42.880 --> 00:26:44.759
the system has to come back. So if we can

503
00:26:44.880 --> 00:26:48.799
keep people from being justice system involved, especially low levels

504
00:26:48.839 --> 00:26:51.039
of violence. That's a win. Then we go to the

505
00:26:51.079 --> 00:26:53.440
thirty percent where an arrest is made. So the first

506
00:26:53.480 --> 00:26:56.359
breakdown is that we're using what's called an a lethality

507
00:26:56.440 --> 00:27:01.000
Assessment protocol. The LAP on scene is actually a tool

508
00:27:01.000 --> 00:27:05.079
that's meant for agencies like safeness to help survivors assess

509
00:27:05.359 --> 00:27:08.880
their safety or unsafety in a scene. It screens in

510
00:27:09.039 --> 00:27:12.880
eighty percent of abusers as high risk. Courts, if everybody's

511
00:27:12.920 --> 00:27:15.680
high risk, nobody's high risk, right swoop from that to51200:27:15.839 --> 00:27:19.759



a DALE the danger assessment. Law enforcement screens in twenty51300:27:19.759 --> 00:27:22.839



percent of abusers as high risk. That's going to start51400:27:22.880 --> 00:27:24.799



to pinpoint for the courts who they need to focus51500:27:24.839 --> 00:27:28.559



on in correlation with that, anybody that has So that's51600:27:28.559 --> 00:27:30.559



the first way to fix it. The next step is51700:27:30.559 --> 00:27:35.960



that a survivor needs to get a domestic violence forensic51800:27:36.000 --> 00:27:39.839



exam called a daffy domestic abuse forensic exam. They need51900:27:39.880 --> 00:27:42.759



to get a strangulation exam if they have been strangled,52000:27:42.799 --> 00:27:45.720



and a sexual assault exam if there's been sexual assault52100:27:45.759 --> 00:27:49.720



involved in the last three days of their time. If52200:27:49.720 --> 00:27:52.519



we don't get the medical exams, it becomes much harder52300:27:52.559 --> 00:27:56.039



to prosecute these cases when inevitably a survivor is like,52400:27:56.119 --> 00:27:58.440



I am done with this, I'm out right, But we52500:27:58.480 --> 00:28:00.960



still want to prosecute these highlights lethal offenders. So we52600:28:01.000 --> 00:28:03.720



need to collect the medical evidence and we need to52700:28:03.759 --> 00:28:06.240



tell a survivor what support medical support they need to52800:28:06.279 --> 00:28:10.039



get beyond that exam so that they're safe. So that's52900:28:10.079 --> 00:28:14.400



on scene and immediately after that domestic violence incident. So53000:28:14.519 --> 00:28:16.920



the next place, right, So in Nevada, it's then a53100:28:16.960 --> 00:28:20.839



twelve hour hold, so and arrest is made. Abusers on53200:28:20.920 --> 00:28:24.160



hold for twelve hours and then they're So then we53300:28:24.200 --> 00:28:26.640



have two different things happening. If you have the means53400:28:26.680 --> 00:28:29.720



to post bail, you're being released. If you don't have53500:28:29.839 --> 00:28:32.640



the means, or you have nowhere to go, so you53600:28:32.759 --> 00:28:34.799



have to be able to tell the court where you go,53700:28:35.119 --> 00:28:38.559



you are staying on a hold, So you're then held53800:28:38.599 --> 00:28:41.519



for two weeks. So now we've got job loss. Now53900:28:41.559 --> 00:28:46.039



we've got financial distress. So at that same time, the54000:28:46.119 --> 00:28:50.480



survivor may have contacted us for an emergency temporary protection54100:28:50.599 --> 00:28:53.480



order while they're incarcerated, or they want to get a54200:28:53.519 --> 00:28:57.359



temporary protection order. This is the second or third or54300:28:57.359 --> 00:29:01.359



fourth place of system failure. Our family court judges. We54400:29:01.400 --> 00:29:04.759



have a really high denial rate on temporary protection orders.54500:29:04.960 --> 00:29:08.359



So my first as a survivor, my first interaction beyond54600:29:08.400 --> 00:29:11.839



police with the system, and I'm denied a temporary protection order,54700:29:11.920 --> 00:29:14.079



Guess how much I want to be involved with you54800:29:14.240 --> 00:29:17.480



moving forward? Right, So one big part for Clark County54900:29:17.559 --> 00:29:23.519



is getting our family court to function appropriately, expeditiously, and55000:29:23.599 --> 00:29:26.319



with the right training of judges so that they can55100:29:26.400 --> 00:29:30.559



make better, better decisions. And that's also where high that55200:29:31.200 --> 00:29:34.599



Dale assessment is much more helpful than the LAP. And55300:29:34.599 --> 00:29:37.480



then if the case does go forward as a misdemeanor55400:29:37.599 --> 00:29:41.680



or a felony misdemeanor. You know, Nevada is a is55500:29:41.720 --> 00:29:45.279



a second Amendment state. So if you're going through with55600:29:45.359 --> 00:29:48.799



a misdemeanor domestic violence, you're going to have a jury trial.55700:29:50.359 --> 00:29:54.799



Getting finding enough drors, training yours, the whole everything that's55800:29:54.839 --> 00:29:58.000



involved with that is really complex. We have very few55900:29:58.000 --> 00:30:03.440



of them. Most everything gets played down into they'll either56000:30:03.440 --> 00:30:08.400



take a lesser charge or it gets down into simple56100:30:08.440 --> 00:30:12.279



battery and gets booked to that way. But what we're56200:30:12.319 --> 00:30:15.519



missing is the felony cases. So strangulation in Nevada is56300:30:15.519 --> 00:30:19.880



a felony offense. We have about three thousand felony cases56400:30:19.880 --> 00:30:22.599



a year. I cannot tell you, but I would tell56500:30:22.640 --> 00:30:24.720



you I think this is a part where the system fails.56600:30:24.839 --> 00:30:26.720



I can't tell you how many of those get actually56700:30:26.720 --> 00:30:29.920



tried as felony cases. What's happening a lot is those56800:30:29.920 --> 00:30:32.559



are getting pled down into misdemeanor and then they're being56900:30:32.599 --> 00:30:35.599



remanded six weeks of classes. So now I have someone57000:30:35.640 --> 00:30:39.640



with a known high risk that's getting into twenty six57100:30:39.680 --> 00:30:43.200



weeks of classes with other with misdemeanor DV when they57200:30:43.279 --> 00:30:46.160



really should be at felony DV. And that's dealt with57300:30:46.279 --> 00:30:49.640



very differently. So multiple parts of failure. And then, of57400:30:49.680 --> 00:30:53.039



course our court systems are set up to punish one person,57500:30:53.559 --> 00:30:56.640



they're not really set up to make the other person whole.57600:30:56.920 --> 00:30:59.000



And they really don't know how to deal with people57700:30:59.079 --> 00:31:01.559



that are in a relationship. So like if I get57800:31:01.640 --> 00:31:04.839



hit by a drunk driver, I am not spending Thanksgiving57900:31:04.880 --> 00:31:08.559



with that person, right, But domestic violence we're so intertwined,58000:31:08.960 --> 00:31:12.680



so the court's overall understanding of how to navigate a58100:31:12.720 --> 00:31:16.519



relationship in which by the time it gets to criminal court,58200:31:16.599 --> 00:31:20.000



there's a high likeling that that couples back together. Typically58300:31:20.519 --> 00:31:23.759



that can be because of financial reasons, that's the biggest58400:31:23.799 --> 00:31:27.440



reason we have documented, but it's also because maybe we58500:31:27.519 --> 00:31:30.799



share kids together, maybe I love you, maybe our church58600:31:30.839 --> 00:31:32.640



got involved and said we need to work through this,58700:31:32.720 --> 00:31:35.000



whatever the reason is. But the court doesn't know how58800:31:35.000 --> 00:31:37.559



to do this. The court also doesn't know how to58900:31:37.599 --> 00:31:41.799



look for systematic power and control. The court is related59000:31:41.799 --> 00:31:44.079



to the incident for which you're there. They can try59100:31:44.079 --> 00:31:46.559



to create that case that the district attorney can try59200:31:46.599 --> 00:31:49.920



to create that long standing power and control. But you know,59300:31:49.960 --> 00:31:52.440



I would ask folks with a lot more money, how59400:31:52.480 --> 00:31:55.359



did that go for you know, in the p didy cases?59500:31:55.480 --> 00:31:57.799



How does that go? In all of these cases that59600:31:57.839 --> 00:32:02.200



we see, it's they don't leave the survivor the survivors59700:32:02.240 --> 00:32:06.359



somehow unworthy of their support. And in most of our59800:32:06.400 --> 00:32:09.200



cases where it's low income, it's a long drawn out59900:32:09.240 --> 00:32:12.279



process with no what is the upside for me as60000:32:12.319 --> 00:32:16.000



a low income single mom trying to prosecute my abuser.60100:32:16.200 --> 00:32:19.759



There isn't one. It's just time and then you know,60200:32:19.960 --> 00:32:23.839



I'm either believed or not believed or whatever. But okay, great,60300:32:23.839 --> 00:32:26.279



and even if he does get the charge. How long60400:32:26.359 --> 00:32:28.279



is he even going to be in jail the courts.60500:32:28.440 --> 00:32:31.039



I think we really have to think about a different60600:32:31.160 --> 00:32:35.000



way to deal with domestic violence segment it differently, really60700:32:35.000 --> 00:32:37.839



put the resources on the highly lethal folks, but there's60800:32:37.920 --> 00:32:41.119



a lot of places for improvement. And I also think,60900:32:41.519 --> 00:32:45.119



quite frankly, and this is a mistake of the Omnibus61000:32:45.160 --> 00:32:49.119



Crime Bill, we've removed survivor voice from all of this61100:32:49.680 --> 00:32:54.319



mandatory arrest, mandatory no drop prosecution. You know, we have61200:32:54.640 --> 00:32:57.599



not taken the survivor's voice in any of that, and61300:32:57.640 --> 00:33:00.599



then yet we expect you to be heavily engaged in61400:33:00.640 --> 00:33:04.279



the prosecution of this person. It just doesn't work for61500:33:04.359 --> 00:33:08.960



the reality of the situation. So I think some transformational61600:33:09.240 --> 00:33:13.680



justice available early in that process. That nine to one61700:33:13.839 --> 00:33:16.759



one call where there wasn't an arrest made is where61800:33:16.759 --> 00:33:19.160



we really can get it some low hanging fruit, and61900:33:19.200 --> 00:33:22.599



then we can focus on prosecuting those folks who are lethal.62000:33:23.119 --> 00:33:24.920



This is a good place to stop Part one of62100:33:24.960 --> 00:33:27.319



the interview. We have so much more to talk about62200:33:27.359 --> 00:33:30.440



next week, including questions from our subscribers, so please be62300:33:30.519 --> 00:33:33.000



sure you like and subscribe so you didn't miss all that.62400:33:34.079 --> 00:33:36.319



Thank you so much for listening. As a reminder, you62500:33:36.359 --> 00:33:39.960



can always find resources at sinspod dot com, slash resources62600:33:40.240 --> 00:33:42.279



and next week we'll be back with part two of62700:33:42.279 --> 00:33:45.759



our interview with Liz Ortenberger. Until then, remember what happens62800:33:45.759 --> 00:33:47.480



here happens everywhere.62900:34:09.280 --> 00:34:13.440



Thanks for listening. Visit sinspod dot co, slash subscribe for63000:34:13.559 --> 00:34:17.719



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You can contact us at questions at sinsinsurvivors dot com.63500:34:32.599 --> 00:34:34.880



If you are someone you know as affected by domestic63600:34:34.960 --> 00:34:38.239



violence or needs support, please reach out to local resources63700:34:38.320 --> 00:34:41.239



or the National Domestic Violence Hotline. A list of resources63800:34:41.280 --> 00:34:45.840



is available on our website Sinsensurvivors dot com. Sins and Survivors,63900:34:45.920 --> 00:34:48.760



a Las Vegas true crime podcast, is research, written and64000:34:48.800 --> 00:34:52.159



produced by your hosts Sean and John. The information shared64100:34:52.199 --> 00:34:54.440



in this podcast is accurate at the time of recording.64200:34:54.880 --> 00:34:57.880



If you have questions, concerns, or corrections, please email us.64300:34:57.960 --> 00:35:00.400



Links to source material for this episode can be found64400:35:00.440 --> 00:35:03.920



on our website Sends and survivors dot com.64500:35:04.239 --> 00:35:07.199



The views and opinions expressed in this podcast are solely64600:35:07.320 --> 00:35:11.599



those of the podcast creators, hosts, and their guests. All64700:35:11.599 --> 00:35:15.599



individuals are innocent until proven guilty. This content does not64800:35:15.679 --> 00:35:19.760



constitute legal advice. Listeners are encouraged to consult with legal64900:35:19.760 --> 00:35:20.920



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